Friday, August 23, 2013

Spent

Full time stay at home mom.
Full time wife of a seminary student
Active in on campus activities
Involved in children's ministry at church
and now,,,,

Seminary Student With homework. A LOT of homework.

I am exhausted. And its only been one day of  one class.

I'm starting to question my decision to take classes. Don't get me wrong. I love being in the classroom. I love learning and I'm excited to be doing so but there is so much to be done. Papers to write, books to read, meetings to attend, and housework to be done.

I'm struggling to find balance. I feel like if I take time to focus on homework or reading for class then I am neglecting the kids. On the other hand if I take time to focus on the kids and stop to play with Collin then I am neglecting both the house work and the homework.  Its like I'm constantly drowning and I can't catch a breath.

One of the biggest problems that I face is that I set HUGE high standards for myself. And I am a perfectionist. I will work at something until I feel like it is completely 100% right. I also feel like I should be able to do it all, all of the time. I have often said that if I could ever have a super power it would be to never need to sleep. A lot of the time I get frustrated that I have to stop to sleep or rest. I just want to be able to use those 5-7 hours that I sleep at night.  Silly I know but when your plate is as full as mine appears to be sleep tends to not be much of an option.

So long story short I am spent. I feel like my tank is so far past empty that its gonna take a lot to fill it back up.

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