Monday, January 28, 2013

Closure

The day Dusty came into the house and told me that he had been accepted into Seminary and that we would be moving to Fort Worth was the day my life began to stand still. While I was excited for him to finally be able to do something he had always wanted to do, all I could think about was how my life was coming to a halt. All of my friends, all the activities I was involved in, the home that I brought my babies to, the life I had worked so hard to build was right there in Hobbs, New Mexico. My parents were still only about 4 hours away so I could make it to see them in a day almost when ever I really wanted to. Everything I knew and loved was right there in safe, comfortable New Mexico.  I was terrified and I was devastated.

I did my best to be excited at the pending change. I dove into the task of packing the house with everything I had. I looked forward to the time I would have staying with my family while we were waiting for our housing to be ready. And when we talked about the plans with others I smiled and nodded my head in agreement with everything that Dusty was saying. Inside I was dying.

Moving day came and there was no turning back. I was officially becoming a resident of Texas. I held in my tears.I knew that with phones and the internet I would still get to talk to everyone that meant so much to me back home. This was a good thing. This was what we needed to do.

As the days and weeks went on I did my best to begin making new friends here in our neighborhood. And I was succeeding at it. I began taking classes offered to the wives and I got involved with the Student Wives organizations. But I was still missing home. I felt totally alone

During the next few weeks I talked to some very dear friends in Hobbs. People that I knew I was always going to stay connected with. No matter where we were living, these were friends for life. But others, people I thought were in that "friends for life" category suddenly didn't have time for me anymore. I couldn't even get so much as a single text back.  And I was hurt. I felt used.

This past weekend Dusty, the kids, and I made a trip back to Hobbs so Dusty could officiate a wedding.  Again I was able to connect with my "forever fiends." My very best friend and her husband opened their home to us and we had a wonderful time catching up and visiting. I knew I would be sad to leave them.

I also saw the others. As I stood there talking to some of the people I felt abandoned by during the last 5 months I realized I wasn't as bad off here as I thought I was. Conversations I was having felt forced. We were searching for things to talk about. Our lives had gone down different paths. And that is okay.

In the end, as we were crossing the Texas state line I began to feel a sense of closure. I  knew that the people I cared most about in that little town in New Mexico would always be there for me. And that some of the others were people that were just meant to be in my life for a short season. I believe that God puts people in our lives for a reason. Some are meant to stay a permanent fixture and others are meant to be around for a short time.

Now I am working on building new relationships. And I am prepared for some of those new relationships to become life long journeys. Others may only last as long as we are here at the Seminary. But either way I know I will become a better and stronger person by having them in my life.

1 comment:

  1. liz...you guys are always welcome in our home. i am glad you are finding peace about the move, and i love you and miss you terribly. you are definitely a "forever friend", and i am blessed to have you in my life.

    melissa

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